Yeah for Queryfail Day!

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Today I woke up to a fabulous surprise. Today was #Queryfail Day on Twitter. Initiated by Colleen Lindsey, a literary agent who helms The Swivet, queryfail brought agents and editors togehter to share epic query failures they had received. For an aspiring writer actively trying to sell a novel, this was very helpful, but also immensely entertaining and horrifying. I learned that mentioning amputee sex and vomit are a definite no-no. I learned that stating that you are an Elf is grounds for rejection. I learned that describing yourself and not your book is probably not going to get your manuscript read (if you even bothered to write it yet.)

Obviously I would never do these things, but it is sad to know that people do. I spent the whole day envisioning some of the more intellectually challenged customers from my corporate retail job submitting these letters. And honestly, it made me feel much better about my own query. Mine is not perfect, but I have done hours of research and countless rewrites. It seems that the vast majority of aspiring writers throw some words on a page and call it good. They should have more respect for their time and writing.

Also, the number of queries in which people basically say, "This sucks, don't bother" was astonishing. Writing a book is HUGE. Why would you spend all the time writing and rewriting to throw your hands up before you even get started.

And then there are the ones who compare themselves to the Greats. My favorite had to be Lord of the Rings meets The Notebook. Oh and "My book is differentiated from Twilight because the vampires have wings, and are half-breed angels." Really? Don't these people realize that even JK Rowling was rejected almost 100 times before she landed an agent? I know writing a novel is like creating art. Hell, it is creating art. But ultimately, if you want to share your art with the public, it doesn't matter what you or your mom or your best friend's dog think about it. The public will make their own decisions and your AGENT is the first in a long line of people. If you cannot handle rejection from a professional, then you are way too tender for the mainstream public. Or worse yet, fandom.

Anyway, I am happy to report that I didn't see any references to my own query today, so I am pleased. And, aside from mentioning it is trilogy, I didn't have any major FAIL in my letter, so hopefully it will warrant some more pages. Cross your fingers for me, will ya.